Thursday, June 7, 2012

God's Not Going to College

The idea of my big brother growing up and leaving for college, has always scared me. But now that I realize that he will be leaving in only a couple of months, it pratically brings tears to my eyes. Sometimes I just burst into tears for no reason, when he's just standing in the room. The first time this happened, my brother was very touched by this flood of emotion, but now, after about the fifth time, he just rolls his eyes. I tell him how worried I am about him and how I don't know how he will possibly live on his own, how he will get a job, or make friends.

The last time this happened, he actually said something that made me stop and think. He commented, "You know, I don't think your that upset that I won't be okay. I think your crying over the fact that you will be left here alone. Plus you think I will forget about you, because I'll live so far away." That made me stop crying, because inside I knew he was right.

Growing up is a part of life, whether we like it or not. It doesn't matter if we are talking about our relationship with our brothers, sisters, friends or even God. As time passes, things change. We grow and sometimes those things around us don't stay the same. As for God, when we grow, fortunately, God grows with us. When we grow older there seems to be more things to fill our day, and God is many times left out of our growth. He is either too confusing to try to understand, or too simple and childish.

When we were younger, our life with God was predictable. We read our little picture Bible, kneeled beside our bed and prayed every night. As we get older many times we forget that God grows with us, and cares about the same things we do. He is right there beside you talking to you at your level, but often times we aren't listening. It's important,as we grow, we let God grow with us and change us for the better as we  become closer to Him.

With my brother going into college, my relationship with him will change. If I choose to allow myself to grow with this relationship, I think it can be just as strong but in a different way. Fortunately, God won't ever leave you to go to college. He is always there, sticking close by no matter what happens. I may not be able to stick close to my brother, physically, but God will never leave him or me. Just like He will never leave you.

Friday, June 1, 2012


Okay... Where do I even begin? I guess, I should start with I'm sorry. I feel terrible that I haven't been able to post in the past month. I could easily come up with about a million excuses. Let's just say it would be along the lines of: I've been busy, I forgot, been spending too much time on etc., etc., etc.

But one of the real reasons why I haven't posted is, because I've been extremely confused. I've been faced with throngs of problems and trials over the past month. Frankly, I feel so befuddled, that I don't really know how I could encourage all of you, when I am such a mess. What's made it so challenging is that, I've been faced with problems I thought I got over months ago. Things like: loneliness, getting involved in the world's mess, not thinking on those things which are pure and holy etc. I've faced those problems and been done with them centuries ago. But then BOOM! Suddenly, I'm being struck with utterly terrifying loneliness, and find myself listening and dwelling on ungodly junk. Now where did this come from? Hadn't I gotten over this months ago? Am I strong enough to face it again? Now on top of that, a spirit of confusion has now swept around me, like a dark cloak. I sometimes can't spiritually see straight and my feet don't even know where to go. To make it worse, it feels like the devil has been tormenting me at every corner.

Unfortunately, this has left me in a awful disjointed state, and not wanting to write. Today I will not only be encouraging you, but also encouraging myself. So, if you are like me, going through the valley of death, do not fear. You are not alone. I relate, and know how you feel. But just remember that this is only for a season, and keep holding on to Jesus. Even when you feel like you are struggling just to keep your head above the water. Don't give up! For this too shall pass. I have to remind myself that every day. With Jesus and each other we'll walk through this, and climb to another mountain top once again.