Befuddled

Okay... Where do I even begin? I guess, I should start with I'm sorry. I feel terrible that I haven't been able to post in the past month. I could easily come up with about a million excuses. Let's just say it would be along the lines of: I've been busy, I forgot, been spending too much time on etc., etc., etc.

But one of the real reasons why I haven't posted is, because I've been extremely confused. I've been faced with throngs of problems and trials over the past month. Frankly, I feel so befuddled, that I don't really know how I could encourage all of you, when I am such a mess. What's made it so challenging is that, I've been faced with problems I thought I got over months ago. Things like: loneliness, getting involved in the world's mess, not thinking on those things which are pure and holy etc. I've faced those problems and been done with them centuries ago. But then BOOM! Suddenly, I'm being struck with utterly terrifying loneliness, and find myself listening and dwelling on ungodly junk. Now where did this come from? Hadn't I gotten over this months ago? Am I strong enough to face it again? Now on top of that, a spirit of confusion has now swept around me, like a dark cloak. I sometimes can't spiritually see straight and my feet don't even know where to go. To make it worse, it feels like the devil has been tormenting me at every corner.

Unfortunately, this has left me in a awful disjointed state, and not wanting to write. Today I will not only be encouraging you, but also encouraging myself. So, if you are like me, going through the valley of death, do not fear. You are not alone. I relate, and know how you feel. But just remember that this is only for a season, and keep holding on to Jesus. Even when you feel like you are struggling just to keep your head above the water. Don't give up! For this too shall pass. I have to remind myself that every day. With Jesus and each other we'll walk through this, and climb to another mountain top once again.